Becoming a Stoic in the Digital Age
January 27, 2025
The only certainty is uncertainty.
As The Expat Expert, I used to commiserate a lot with other expat wives over those five words. Like me, they were never sure where in the world their husband’s career might take them next. Nor did they know when they might be moving, at least not until their partner told them.
That lack of control over my life drove me crazy. It wasn’t too great for my marriage either and probably contributed to our early departure from the foreign service. Of course, publishing my expat wife manifesto didn’t help matters either.
In those pre-Google days, I hadn’t yet stumbled upon the Hellenistic philosophy of Stoicism. It would have been a game-changer.
There’s a popular misunderstanding that needs to be to set straight right away. Stoicism doesn’t just mean sucking it up and getting on with something difficult. Yes, it’s about building emotional resilience, but Stoic practitioners use philosophy to cognitively process the fact that change is constant and too often, out of one’s control.

For example, our peripatetic lifestyle as a diplomatic family was always going to involve multiple moves and transitions. That’s the nature of a rotational foreign service. But if I had been a Stoic, I would have learned how to react differently to news of a relocation and later, to the discombobulating judgements of culture shock that come from living in foreign countries.
And instead of constantly succumbing to disaster syndrome, dreaming up everything that could go wrong and then worrying endlessly about what I was imagining, Stoicism would have helped me manage my thoughts and emotions. I would not have lain awake at night with my heart pounding furiously.
From Stoicism’s teachers and followers in ancient Greece and Rome, I would have learned to stop catastrophizing over future events that have not even happened yet, might never happen, and I have no control over anyway. Those conversations swirling in my head would have been reframed. No surprise that the origins of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) come from Stoic thinking.

The current news cycle with its unrelenting negativity has left me feeling powerless and frankly, often sick to my stomach. So I turned to the Stoics for help to react to the relentless bombardment of it in a much healthier way. Turns out, digital stoicism and digital minimalism share many similarities.
I learned this after reading “The Modern Stoic: Adapting Ancient Virtues for the Digital Age” by Tony Smiley. There are a number of excellent books out now on Stoicism as it’s experiencing a renaissance. It’s not hard to understand why. The world is feeling unsettled and the ancient philosophers have more than a few practical words of wisdom to help us out in 2025.
Digital stoicism and digital minimalism both emphasize using technology mindfully, choosing what’s useful and discarding the rest. Let it come. Let it be. Let it go. In addition to that helpful mantra, digital stoicism offers added value for incorporating Stoicism’s four virtues into the mix: wisdom, courage, temperance and justice.
“Stoicism teaches us that wisdom is not merely about acquiring knowledge,” writes Smiley in his book. “It’s about understanding the nature of things, discerning what is true, what is right, and how to live well.”
“In the digital context, this translates to an ability to sift through the vast amount of information online, to differentiate between what is meaningful and what is superfluous, what is factual and what is fallacious.”
And how can Stoic virtues play out on social media?
Commit to being a positive person to counter the prevalent negativity. Consciously post only positive stories on your social media feeds. I’ve been trying to do that for years. Staying connected to others is vital to well-being and resilience. For that reason, a Stoic will respectfully avoiding posting incendiary comments and focus instead on inclusive rather than the divisive content.

I have a lot to learn about Stoicism. But, I’m firmly committed to calming down and to stop fretting endlessly about things out of my control. The words of Marcus Aurelius, Seneca and Epictetus among others on the excellent Stoa app now guide my morning meditations. I haven’t forsaken my Buddhist gurus, Dan Harris and Joseph Goldstein, and still listen to them on Happier.
Many of Stoa’s meditations are very timely. There’s also a huge cache of reading material from the original Greek and Roman sources. I could spend hours down a Stoic rabbit hole if I wanted to.
Yes, it’s true this so-called digital minimalist has yet again turned to an app for help. This time, though, I’m not beating myself up about it as I did over a blood pressure app. My time spent on Stoa has been both useful and enlightening, the exact opposite of my digital experience with the diet app.
In just a few short weeks, it has already enhanced my life. I want to be a kinder, happier, and more productive person. From anyone’s point of view, that has to be considered a thoughtful use of technology. I’m sure Seneca would agree.