How to Break Up With Your Phone

When I first decided to reclaim my overloaded brain, starting with my phone, I thought I was oh-so-terribly-clever when I told a friend I was breaking up with it. I soon discovered mine was not an original idea in the least.

And thank goodness for that.

Substacker, TED speaker, health and science journalist, and author Catherine Price has written an excellent how-to-book about it. She has since followed up with the 30-Day Phone Break Up Course.

Her book begins with a very funny open letter to her phone explaining why she’s breaking up with it (which every reader will identify with). It’s a great starting point for anyone  considering decluttering their digital phone life and probably explains why the New York Times calls Price the “Marie Kondo of brains.”

A lot of ground is covered in her book, including many topics I want to eventually address in this blog, like how the tech companies have earned a well-deserved reputation for becoming a modern day version of cigarette manufacturers. You know, the ones who secretly put more nicotine in their products to ensure maximum addiction. In this case, it’s called user engagement. That’s eyeballs and credit cards.

“Not only are phone and app companies aware of their products’ neurological effects,” writes Price, “but they pack their products with features that will trigger them—with the explicit goal of getting us to spend as much time as possible on our devices.” She also points out that many tech executives themselves limited their own children’s exposure to phones. Bill Gates and his former wife Melinda didn’t give their own children phones until they were fourteen!

To get you started, I thought this quiz, appearing right at the beginning, would be a valuable assessment tool to determine just how addicted you are and just how compulsive is your behavior.

It was developed by Dr. David Greenfield, founder of the Center for Internet Technology Addiction at the University of Connecticut School of Medicine.

Be honest when answering. I know I was, and it was frightening.

1. Do you find yourself spending more time on your cell or smartphone than you realize?
2. Do you find yourself mindlessly passing time on a regular basis by staring at your cell or smartphone?
3. Do you seem to lose track of time when on your cell or smartphone?
4. Do you find yourself spending more time texting, tweeting, or emailing as opposed to talking to people in person?
5. Has the amount of time you spend on your cell or smartphone been increasing?
6. Do you wish you could be a little less involved with your phone?
7. Do you sleep with your cell or smartphone (turned on) under your pillow or next to your bed regularly?
8. Do you find yourself viewing and answering texts, tweets and emails at all hours of the day and night—even if it means interrupting other things you are doing?
9. Do you text, email, tweet, Snapchat, Facebook message, or surf while driving or doing other similar activities that require your focused attention and concentration?
10. Do you feel your use of your cell or smartphone decreases your productivity at times?
11. Do you feel reluctant to be without your cell or smartphone, even for a short time?
12. Do you feel ill at ease or uncomfortable when you accidentally leave your smartphone in the car or at home, have no service, or have  broken phone?
13. When you eat meals, is your cell or smartphone always part of the table setting?
14. When your cell or smartphone rings, beeps, or buzzes, do you feel an intense urge to check for texts, tweets, emails, updates and so on?
15. Do you find yourself mindlessly checking your cell or smartphone many times a day, even when you know there is likely nothing new or important to see?

Dr. Greenfield interprets people’s scores this way:

• 1-2 Your behavior is normal, but that doesn’t mean you should live on your smartphone.
• 3-4 Your behavior is leaning towards problematic or compulsive use.
• 5 or above: It is likely that you may have a problematic or compulsive smartphone use pattern.
• 8 or higher: If your score is higher than 8, you might consider seeing a psychologist, psychiatrist, or psycho-therapist who specializes in behavioral addictions for a consultation.

Obviously, and Price points this out, most people will discover they qualify for a psychiatric evaluation. Did I mention Dr. Greenfield is also a professor of psychiatry? And, as she rightly says, the only way to score below 5 is to not have a smartphone at all.

“But the fact that these behaviors and feelings are so universal,” she writes, “does not mean that they are harmless. Instead, it’s an indication that the problem may be bigger than we think.”

Like the Gary Larson cartoon I used for my opening salvo Something Has to Change, remember, we don’t just have to be sheep.

Consider this is a wake-up call.