Virtue Signal Like a Stoic

When my children were young, I consulted a lot of parenting books and magazines looking for help. On the subject of character building, I latched onto a particularly useful and memorable piece of advice. 

“Try to do a good deed every day,” I instructed Lilly and her younger brother Jay, parroting an article I’d read in Parenting Magazine. “Help a friend, a stranger, or even just the planet.”

Solemnly listening to her wise mother, I could almost see the wheels of the future environmental educator’s mind working overtime. My punch line surprised both of them.

“And don’t tell anyone about it.”

Years before I began studying ancient Greek and Roman philosophers, I’d already embraced a basic lesson of Stoicism: Rather than look for praise from friends and strangers, cultivate genuine virtue through actions and behavior.

“True virtue does not rest in public displays of morality,” wrote Marcus Aurelius. In his famous “Meditations” he emphasized that it’s more important to act according to your principles, than constantly be looking for outside approval. 

I don’t think Marcus nor his fellow Stoics Seneca or Epictetus would be particularly pleased with the way virtue is being pursued in today’s world. ‘Public displays of morality’ as he called them, have become the lifeblood of social media. We have pivoted away from authentically living our lives to displaying them on social media platforms. I’m certainly guilty of that, splashing photos of my amazingly blessed life all over my Facebook page. Digital virtue signaling almost invented itself.

The Stoic philosophers would never have approved that measures of success are tallied in likes and smiley emojis either. They would be horrified that empty, superficial gestures (changing a profile picture to the flag of whatever country is currently under siege springs to mind) without being backed up with any meaningful action, have become such a strong social currency in 2025.

So how can someone virtue signal like a Stoic? 

As a start, stop looking for external validation. The opinions of others are beyond your control. Who cares how many people shared your post? Shift your focus to your internal values rather than likes or shares. Not easy to do, I know. But my next piece of advice will help. It’s worked for me.

Limit your time on the Internet. Use social media intentionally, setting boundaries around time spent online. Digital minimalism, as I’ve been writing, isn’t about cutting yourself off. It’s about engaging with the on-line world in a healthier way. I’m still a work in progress on cutting it out altogether, but feel better on the days I’m off screen.

And don’t be surprised to learn that sometimes, personal growth can come from feeling uncomfortable. That means taking online criticism or challenges as an opportunity for self-reflection on your own on-line behavior. I’ve been doing a lot of that recently.

That last piece of advice, trying to put a positive spin on something negative, is utterly Stoic too. 

As another optimistic Stoic put it on Reddit: “A Stoic should not look at the virtue signaler as only a hypocrite but also consider them someone who can eventually act on that underlying virtue with the right encouragement,” wrote mountaingoat369.

Bottom line: if you want to virtue signal like a Stoic, stop speaking in memes and comments and posts you are just sharing with your own echo chamber. Go out into the real world and actually do something to make the world a better place.

Or, think about supporting those already trying to do just that. I happen to know of an organization that would benefit from that kind of real-world action.  

And I promise. I won’t tell anyone.